Synopsis and Starting Chapter Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90 - Light And Shadow>
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Chapter 101
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112 - The Morning Comes>
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118 - After The Storm
Chapter 119
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Chapter 123
Chapter 124
Chapter 125
Chapter 126
Chapter 127
Chapter 128
Chapter 129
Chapter 130
Chapter 131
Chapter 132 -
Chapter 133
Chapter 134 - Epilogue 1.3
Chapter 135 - Epilogue 2.1: Traces Of Life
Chapter 136
Chapter 137 - Epilogue 2.3
Chapter 138
Chapter 139
Chapter 140
Chapter 141 - Epilogue 4.1: Ever After>
Chapter 142 - Epilogue 4.2
Chapter 143 - Epilogue 4.3
Chapter 144 - Epilogue 5.1>
Chapter 145 - Epilogue 5.2
Chapter 146 - The Most Romantic Weekend>
Chapter 147 - Short Stories 1.2
Chapter 148 -
Chapter 149 -
Chapter 150 -
Chapter 151 -
Chapter 152 -
Chapter 153 -
Chapter 154 - Short Stories 3.1: Unexpected Things Happen>
Chapter 155 - Short Stories 3.2>
Chapter 156 -
Chapter 157 -
Chapter 158 -
Chapter 159 -
Chapter 160 -
Chapter 161 - Short Stories 5.1: The Man Behind The Mask>
Chapter 162
Chapter 163
Chapter 164 -
Chapter 165 -
Chapter 166
Chapter 167 - Short Stories 6.2
Chapter 168 - Short Stories 6.3
Chapter 169
Chapter 170
Chapter 171
Chapter 172
Chapter 173
Chapter 174
Chapter 175
Chapter 176
Chapter 177
Chapter 178
Chapter 179
Chapter 180
Chapter 181
Chapter 182
Chapter 183
Chapter 184
Chapter 185
Chapter 186
Chapter 187
Chapter 188
Chapter 189 (End)
Categories Genre: All, Completed, Fantasy Status: Completed ______
Total Chapters in book: 189
Estimated words: 290059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1450(@200wpm)___ 1160(@250wpm)___ 967(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 290059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1450(@200wpm)___ 1160(@250wpm)___ 967(@300wpm)
______
LIST OF LAST 10 CHAPTERS:
Page No. 189 Page No. 188 Page No. 187 Page No. 186 Page No. 185 Page No. 184 Page No. 183 Page No. 182 Page No. 181 Page No. 180 Page No. 179 Chapter 87
Chapter 87:
The most caring yet the scariest word in the world.
He gave it to me.
‘Love.’
“…”
Love?
It felt unreal, but not unexpected.
Lucretius has been courting me for a while now. I knew this, but I had been ignoring it. I didn’t want to even think about it.
I knew I was being cruel to him. I could understand why he would be mad at me.
He seemed to know what I was thinking. He whispered to me.
“Don’t you think you are being too harsh to the man who loves you?”
“I…”
I couldn’t speak. I had no answer to him.
Lucretius gently kissed both of my eyelids and said to me, “I swear no matter how you feel about me, my love for you will never change.”
He seemed to know why I was so fearful and distrusting. His whisper was sweet and loving.
He continued, “I am not asking you to decide right now.”
“…”
“Like I already said, I want you to choose me because you truly want me. Just like I chose you, I want to be chosen by you.”
He took a deep breath and added, “I want to be chosen by Sa Bina.”
“I…”
My heart couldn’t take this anymore.
He continued, “So don’t feel pressured. You are doing more than enough. I realized how we met wasn’t conventional, but don’t you think you can trust me just a little bit now?”
Tears rolled down my eyes uncontrollably.
I knew this. I knew it very well.
I knew how he felt about me, but I was afraid. If I acknowledged and believed his feelings for me, I was afraid I would become weak and dependant on him.
I was doing my very best to stand on my own and survive in this dangerous world. This was because I thought there was no one who could protect me.
The very first people I met in this world betrayed me in the worst way. My current enemy, the dowager empress, was a dangerous woman. I had never felt safe since I arrived here.
Perhaps I have been treating my life as if it was just a dream. I secretly thought that one day I would just open my eyes and wake up from this nightmare. I desperately hoped and prayed for it.
Whenever I dreamt of earth or seeing my friends and family again, for a brief moment, I thought I finally woke up. However, after over a year of this life, I was tired. Waking up every morning to this hell was devastating.
Would I ever be able to go back home?
Was this a dream?
Did I even exist?
Was I really Sa Bina from earth? Was I just a crazy woman from this world who believed she came from a different world?
I couldn’t help but question everything and it made me despair. I felt weak and useless. Everything was uncertain.
I had to hide all of these overwhelming feelings. I had to appear to be strong. I had to pretend and lie.
I couldn’t trust or get close to anyone. Because I believed this wasn’t my home, I didn’t want to get to know anybody.
To be perfectly honest, I didn’t know who to trust.
I couldn’t let go of myself even for a second. I just looked ahead and continued on without a break.
I was at my limit. I didn’t even realize it, but it was clear that he knew it before me. He could see my desperate loneliness and weariness.
He did the one thing I was afraid of the most. He saw right through my wall. He saw my true self.
Not the strong intelligent woman.
Not the capable wife of the emperor.
All these fake masks I had been wearing broke away from me.
I was only Sa Bina. A twenty-year-old girl who was shaking in fear.
In his arms, I finally let go.
“I, I…! I…!”
I couldn’t speak because I cried so hard.
I hadn’t shown tears since the first night I woke up in this world.
Tonight, I couldn’t stop crying until early in the morning, and Lucretius was there for me the whole time with his arms around me.
***
I cried all night and the next day, I couldn’t leave my bed.
I was sick and required bed rest. As it was the second day of the celebration, Lucretius had to leave me and attend the event by himself.
I knew all the ladies and the princesses would use my absence as a chance to get Lucretius. I felt sorry for him.
A rumor started that I worked too hard and ended up fainting at the ball. The emperor had to carry me to my bed. People believed it was because I was weak from the recent accident and working hard on top of it caused me to become ill.
Thankfully, my comment on Yulia dancing with Lucretius was quickly forgotten. There were only a few who heard me say it, and Lucretius must have said something to make sure all the relevant people remained quiet.
The ball was supposed to last for a week and I already missed the second day. I apologized to Lucretius for being careless, but he told me it didn’t matter at all.
The embarrassing truth was I tried to do a little matchmaking for my own husband and ended up crying my eyes out. It was hard to see Lucretius’ face without feeling mortified.
One of the biggest reasons why I felt embarrassed was because of my eyes.
“Why won’t the swelling around my eyes go down?”
When I complained in front of the mirror, Samantha tried to help. My fever was down, but my face was still very swollen.
“Now, let’s put more ice on it.”
I pouted loudly.
“But I already did it for an hour now! My eyes get too cold. It hurts!”
Samantha sighed and said to me like I was her disobedient daughter, “Cold is the best way to bring down puffiness! Besides, it’s not like anybody made you cry so much during such an important event!”
“…”
It was true. I picked up the bag of ice and placed it on my eyes.
So cold! Even my eyeballs felt frozen!
It was unfortunate I got sick, but I didn’t regret crying. After a good cry, I felt much better. I felt a little lighter.
Thanks to it, I was able to treat Lucretius and others a little more informally than before.
Those around me seemed to be happy with the change in my attitude. They treated me even more warmly. Samantha and Agnes especially started to treat me like their unruly daughter.
I realized how coldly I had been treating them. Without realizing, I had built an invisible wall around me. I decided I should treat them better from now on.
The door opened and a familiar face walked in. It was someone who made me feel guilty.
She said to me in a rigid voice, “Greetings to her highness.”
It was Yulia. Since that night, I felt very uncomfortable around her.
Yulia handed the medicine to Samantha, who in turn handed it to me. When I drank it, Samantha groaned quietly.
I still had a bag of ice on my eyes, but I could guess what Samantha’s groan meant. Perhaps it was because we spent six months together; I knew her pretty well.
Everyone was working double time at this point. Even without the recent fire and my accident, preparing for such a big event alone would have been hard enough. There were still many who were secretly working to clean up the damages from the fire. All of my maids, especially Samantha, were working day and night.
It was partly because I had fallen ill. Samantha had to do my job as the hostess too.
I ordered her, “If you have work to do, you are free to leave.”
“Your highness…”
Samantha seemed unconvinced, but I wanted to talk to Yulia in private anyway. This was my chance. I smiled and pushed Samantha gently.
“Don’t worry about me. Yulia is here, right? She will take good care of me. There are also other maids in the next room if I need them.”
Yulia agreed. “My lady, I will take care of her highness so please don’t worry.”
Samantha contemplated for a few seconds before sighing.
“If you need me, please send someone.”
Yulia nodded. “Yes, don’t worry, my lady.”
Samantha gave Yulia a few more instructions before leaving hesitantly.
Finally, it was just the two of us.
Total Chapters in book: 189
Estimated words: 290059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1450(@200wpm)___ 1160(@250wpm)___ 967(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 290059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1450(@200wpm)___ 1160(@250wpm)___ 967(@300wpm)
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